Thursday, April 23, 2015

Exposure, at so many levels.

For the past few weeks my life has been in what I call perfect disarray as we moved for the second time in 9 months.  Hence, there's been a lot of unpacking, cleaning, organizing, redecorating, making lists, shopping, joining the local LA Fitness, walking around the neighborhood with Lucy -- basically really trying to learn the lay of the land in my new Floridian town of Naples.  All of course in addition to maintaining my day job and trying to make new friends with neighbors and others in recovery.  

But through all of this, I'm also trying to spread the message about my Memoir and hopefully trying to help others who may have a problem with alcoholism or addiction.  I can't sleep (which I think is part of my aging process in my late 40's) and I awoke at 3.30 am with my head running a zillion miles a minute, now close to 5.30 I haven't accomplished much except realizing how much I have been putting myself, and my story, out there to help others.  I'm crunching numbers on how many books have been sold and how many resources I've tapped into.  And just since February, my story, and links to my Memoir, have been showcased on a few recovery blogs - so for that, Hot Damn, I'm stoked to be part of this amazing online recovery community and just for today, I'll keep on trudging.

Below is a list of the links that are helping me spread the message.  All of these sites are amazing and continue to help others in their plight to get and stay sober.  Check them out!

Sunday, April 12, 2015

PRICE REDUCTION - $4.99 for an amazing page turner!

Check it out!

Memoir Synopsis

“That evening I wanted to go to a teenage party, and I wanted to drink alcohol, the grownup beverage of choice, the potion glamorized on TV and in movies, the stuff the older cool kids were drinking every weekend.  I wanted to be cool.  I wanted to fit in.  Whatever it took.”

She was attractive, popular and determined to grow up in a hurry. How would she have known that at age thirteen, during her first teenage drinking party, her life would play out in such a way that it would rule her life decisions going forward? The handsome boys and pretty girls were guzzling a certain punch, and she wanted to be like them.  Tentatively, she ladled the jungle juice from the punch bowl and had her first sip of alcohol.  She wanted more. It couldn’t have come at a better time.  This is what she’d been searching for – relief.  Instant relief. 

Getting drunk becomes her rite of passage as she careens through junior and senior high school caving in to peer pressure for her need to feel accepted. Through secretarial school and early jobs, her twenties are a blur. Quicker than she can take a tequila shot in a Mexican cafĂ©, change her lovers weekly, and party with the dregs of society, as well as the socialites and future executives – Nancy finds a lifestyle that seems to work for her.  She continues on and drinks and uses cocaine through the snows of Aspen, the desert heat of Scottsdale, the California coast and her Pennsylvania homelands, only to find herself alone and desperate in her quest for love and her own identity.  Milk, she decides, has a longer shelf life than her romantic interludes. Surfer Boy, Boston Boy, Blondie Boy. Her big question becomes, who is going to marry her? As she approaches her early 30’s, she thinks getting married will fix her. 

“I am sitting on my couch finishing up a second bottle of Two Buck Chuck, watching Sarah Jessica Parker on “Sex and the City,” crying and wondering why I’m still  single.  I understand why Sarah is single. She spends too much money on shoes, and no one wants to marry a shoe whore. She had the perfect man too. She was a fool to let Aidan get away.  Ever since high school the perennial question from my parents and friends was always the same, “Are you going to marry him?”

It never occurred to Nancy to blame her loneliness on her beverages of choice. She’d kept her career going. She wasn’t an alcoholic. In fact, she relished hearing confessions of real alcoholics so she could assure herself that they—and not she—had a problem. Hello, Black Kettle? This is Pot calling! Terribly alone after receiving her second DUI at age 37, Nancy experiences a moment of clarity. She’s been looking for answers everywhere but the place she least wants to examine: the mirror. What glares back at her is over twenty-four years of living life in the fast lane, zooming by all the red flags.
“Sitting in the jail cell I thought about hitting bottom. I could stop digging now. My life couldn’t get any worse….How could years of my free-wheeling lifestyle as a partier, mainly a social drinker, bring me to this place?”
Compelled by a judge, Nancy walks into an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting and begins the hellacious journey of rethinking her life to finally find what she’d been searching for – her true self. Now sober for over ten years, married and with a thriving career, Nancy wants to tell other young women what she wishes someone had told her. 

Friday, April 10, 2015

Blogging today, even though I'm not really!

So I have to say, I feel a bit inadequate in terms of my blogging, as I don't do it every day, like most of the amazing blogs out there! I'm a bit challenged with my time as I'm trying to keep my FT job and market my Memoir, and run my household and walk Lucy, and be the dutiful wife and take time each day to check in with my today's blog is my recovery story featured on the Clean and Sober Voice website.  

Check it out - and Happy Friday! 

I got drunk for the first time at age 13 at a teenage drinking party in Avalon, NJ.  There was a large punch bowl filled with grain alcohol jungle juice and I was eager to try alcohol, as it was a constant in our household growing up.  I wanted to be cool and fit in.   But it was never the taste that made me chase it, it was the alcohol buzz.  The effect that it produced was one that I loved and craved. Then, when I tried cocaine at age 16 for the first time and that combination together, it was like BAM! I’ve arrived! Within a few years I was dating a drug dealer and my usage increased.  My 20s were a bit of a blur and wild, but by 30 I had become a “recreational” (3 day weekend) cocaine user and a daily drinker. I also had a thriving career so I was considered a high-functioning alcoholic.  I was able to make my weekend drug use and daily drinking work within my lifestyle as I only hung out with others that drank and used the way I did.  I thought I was a typical “party girl” and weekend warrior.  By 32, I had racked up my first DUI.  I also moved over 22 times during these years and kept jobs for 3-4 years until I knew they’d find me out.  I was able to maintain pretty well.  But I knew I had a problem, I just didn’t really care.  Alcohol and cocaine were the two things that made me feel normal and happiest. 

At age 37, I received my 2nd DUI in San Diego – a town I had been living in for the past few years – and sitting in that jail cell for 11 hours really made me think and made me think that I needed to do something different.  At first, I didn’t think I’d have to quit drinking all together, I wanted to see what my DUI attorney had to say.  It was highly suggested to go to an AA meeting.  I waited 6 weeks to walk into a meeting and while I was sitting in my first meeting  I knew I needed to be there and I knew that my problem was pretty bad.  I left that meeting and went out and drank for a week – during that week I had my moment of clarity.  I realized that everything bad that had happened to me during my life was from drinking and drugging.  I may want to give the sobriety thing a try.  So, that’s what I did.  I had heard hope in that first meeting and I walked into recovery with complete blind faith.  I had no idea what to expect as I knew nothing about sobriety.  

I got sober the AA way; 90 meetings in 90 days, I got a sponsor, I worked the steps and I did what the woman in recovery told me to do.  I didn’t want anyone in my family or corporate life to know what I was doing, so treatment wasn’t an option for me.   I’m grateful I got sober the way I did and I’m so appreciative of the Fellowship where I got sober.  I wouldn’t change a thing.  AA doesn’t work for everyone, but its just what worked for me.

I’ve been able to live life today free from the bondage of alcohol and drugs.  I don’t hang out in seedy places, I don’t get DUIs anymore, I don’t wake up in stranger’s beds and I don’t have to wonder what happened the night before.  I’m completely free from the wrath of alcohol and drugs.  I can save money and be a contributing citizen to my community and I get to work in a job that I value and like!   I have had so many great things happen in recovery because I make clear choices today.  I was able to get married in recovery and share my journey with someone else who gets me and who is also in recovery.  I rescued my constant companion and dog, Lucy, and she brings me so much joy.  I have been able to maintain and make new friendships – I get to live and participate in my life today.    I wrote a Memoir recently about my experience, strength and hope in recovery and its been able to offer others some hope and inspiration, and that makes me feel so complete and blessed. You can find it on Amazon Kindle.  

“Last Call, a Memoir”

The freedom I have today is just amazing and the fact that I get to live my life today without lying, manipulating, cheating and stealing is all just gravy to me.  I am just so happy that I don’t HAVE to drink today.  I am a strong supporter of AA and helping others and being of service.  I met my husband in recovery and we’ve been able to run our own programs and maintain our healthy lifestyle.  We recently moved to South Florida and are so blessed to be able to have the kind of life we have today.   We both know its because we are sober and live our lives today by the spiritual principles outlined in the program.

I am grateful I don’t need a drink to manage my life and I’m grateful I’m not waking up with a hangover.  I’m happy that I get to have choices today – healthy choices on who I want to be, not who alcohol and cocaine want me to be.   As Sir Elton John once said in an interview, “My biggest accomplishment in my life is getting sober, its not the grammys, the money, being Knighted or the records I’ve sold, its my sobriety!”