In November 2003, I was drunk, typing in my journal, and at that time, I hadn’t admitted I was an alcoholic. I thought I was just a problem drinker – which is also another term for an alcoholic. I wanted to write about my frustration of not being married and blame it on someone. In getting prepared to embark on another move across the country, I wanted to find something that would repair the gaping hole I felt inside. I thought that if I had the perfect life of husband, house, dog and child -- life would work out and I would be part of the suburbia landscape with the general population. It wasn’t until I got sober that I decided to take control of my life and —be responsible for my actions. This may in turn answer my non-married question, but it may not. I wasn’t involved with healthy people, so why should my relationships have been healthy with the promise of any future?
When I originally started journaling my story, I was a year or so sober and by the time I finished it (and worked with an Editor from San Diego) I was 3 years sober. I’m now almost 11 years sober and life is in session. My story by far isn't the most scandalous, or the raciest or the most sizzling, nor did I end up on skid row, its just a story of a gal that liked to drink a lot and have fun, until the fun stopped happening. I remember so many times saying to myself, "I'm just going out for a couple of drinks". 10 hours later, I'd still be awake and partying. I needed the party to end.
Today life is a bit rosier for me. I don’t need to be bailed out of a Jail for any DUIs, I know where I am when I wake up in the morning, and I have a little more self respect and dignity than I used to. This is progress for someone like me. Just because I’m sober doesn’t mean life doesn’t get tough. Good things happen. Bad things happen. They just normally don’t happen on the same day. And no matter what, I’ve been able to stay sober through all of it. Its not easy, but as long as I keep doing what I was taught to do by others that walked before me, I know I’m going to be ok.
So - I do hope you download the book for yourself, or gift it to someone that you think may want to read it or better yet, need to read it. Maybe your babysitter, daughter, sister, friend of a friend?