I can’t tell you how many people have
said to me, “Why didn’t you get sober after your first DUI?” These people were not alcoholics mind you;
they were normal drinkers who didn’t understand why anyone would get a DUI in
the first place, let alone – GASP – a second one! It’s pretty normal to hear people
at an AA meeting that have had five, six, seven, DUIs – commonplace
really. It’s also pretty normal to hear people
that didn’t have any DUIs and they still got sober. I always assumed those people lived in New
York City, or had another bottom that didn’t relate to getting a DUI. I’m grateful I didn’t live in NYC, because it
was my second DUI that got me sober. I
didn’t get sober because I thought I had a problem. I mean, let me explain, I knew I had a
problem – I just didn’t give a crap. I
was fine living my life like a 20 year old tartlet and thought I was totally
cool. I was 37 years old and I was so
not cool. The State of California seemed
to think that my DUI was something that needed to be addressed. So here I was, sitting on my second DUI, and
I was a bit of a hot mess and befuddled with how I ended up here. I was still gallivanting around town like a
collegiate party girl. How did this
happen? It happened because I let it
happen. Feeling very defeated and worn
out, my solution was to start drinking box wine at home and not go out
anymore. This was how I was going to
live my life now. Not once did I think I
should quit drinking.
The first DUI wasn’t that bad really. It was five years prior and I was back home
in suburban Philadelphia visiting family and friends over Christmas. I was out at my local watering hole where
everyone knew my name, my own personal “Cheers”. We were doing shots, drinking like it was
Senior Week - whooping it up - a normal evening among friends. Driving back to my sister’s house I had
apparently swerved and hit a couple trash cans on the side of the road. BUSTED!
I scurried my butt back to California and had my Dad manage this
inconvenience for me as I was living 3,000 miles away and didn’t have time to
address this nuisance. I attended 6
alcohol education classes and forged a certificate to say I did 20 hours of
Community Service in San Diego. Easy Peasey.
Fast forward to five years later where
that fateful night had me out drinking in downtown Carlsbad. I chose my apartment in downtown Carlsbad
because of the location, as it was close to the downtown bar scene; this way I
could drink and walk about town and not worry about driving. Unfortunately for me that evening it was a
balmy 60 degrees and I decided to drive.
Too chilly for this Philly gal.
At 11.30 pm, I pulled hurriedly into the parking lot of Texas Liquor,
after just bumping over a central median.
Whew that was close! Minutes
later, sirens and flashing lights screeched in behind me and barricaded my
vehicle. Struck sober, I soon realized
this wasn’t going to be the highlight of my weekend.
Upon instructions from my lawyer, I was given
the task of getting a court card signed by attending an Alcoholics Anonymous
meeting. He commented to me that since
it was my second DUI, they could really throw the book at me. Okay
sure, I will go to a meeting. But
not tonight, I really need to drink.
It took over six weeks for me to finally
muster enough courage to walk into that AA meeting. I remember sitting in my car cursing myself
to get out and walk into the meeting.
How hard could this be? I only went because I wanted the court to show
some mercy on me. I had no intention of
getting sober. That was never even a
thought.
What I heard at that meeting was Hope. Hope that maybe I could quit drinking. Hope that maybe I won’t have to keep doing
the same stupid shit that I’d been doing for the past 24 years and Hope that
maybe there is another way to live. Sober.
I ran out of that meeting before the
closing Serenity prayer ended and went home where I guzzled down two bottles of
wine. I drank every day for the next week
and during that drunken week I had my moment of clarity. BAM! The green flash of sunset and stark
realization came to me; everything bad
that had ever happened to me in my life was from drinking and drugging. Everything.
I had nothing to show for my life.
I was alone, financially and emotionally starved, barely able to make
ends meet and living a studio apartment.
I didn’t own anything. I had
pawned all I could, while going to payday loan places just to hold me until my next
pay check. I also had a recreational
cocaine problem, did I mention that?
On that seventh day, I ended up at the
Carlsbad Speaker Meeting in Carlsbad where I purchased a Big Book and heard a
women share my story. I figured I should
give this sobriety thing a shot. I had
no other options. I haven’t looked back since and today my life is better than
I ever could have imagined. So glad I
wasn’t living in NYC that evening. That
second DUI saved me, and it got me sober.
I think God will let you drop until you are willing to listen. I got out early. I have a friend doing twelve years for killing a woman. Congratulations to you!
ReplyDelete:) thanks CW!
DeleteThank you :)
ReplyDeleteHi Nancy,
ReplyDeleteIt is a great story to share and you have come so far since! Thank you for sharing and never forget how much an inspiration you are to people like me!
Thanks,
Bren
Thanks Bren for your support!
Delete
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DeleteHi Nancy, This is a great example what it's like to be alcoholic. When it comes to alcohol, there is no common sense. This sentence sums it up: "These people were not alcoholics mind you; they were normal drinkers who didn’t understand why anyone would get a DUI in the first place, let alone – GASP – a second one!". Thanks for your inspiring thoughts. Sober Coach Dave
ReplyDeleteThanks Dave, just saw this now :)
DeleteI guess that sometimes, it is human nature. People tend to not stop the wrong things that they do, until it hits them hard, and starts to threaten their very survival and well-being. If they feel that they can still work around it, they can continue. Which is why DUIs are not just a matter of precaution; they are also a matter of foresight. It's not about crossing the bridge when you get there, it's about avoiding that bridge entirely. Driving after having had a few drinks simply isn't recommendable.
ReplyDeleteStephanie Waters @ Chastaine Law
Just ran upon your page and really enjoyed the story! I just got my first extreme dui and am still waiting to resolve the case. I truly can understand were you are coming from with your emotions and feelings here and I'm 10 years younger than you. This has been the most trying time in my life thus far, but with God and families support plus sobriety, I shall overcome!
ReplyDeleteThanks again!
Thanks for your comments and glad you are getting the help you need! Hope your journey is going well! Email me anytime.
DeleteThe time to choose your DUI lawyer is as soon as you are released from the jail. It took my 2nd offense to realize this. The attorney needs as much time as possible to be able to put together a case and to try and discover anything that might help them in their efforts to get the charges lessened. The reasons for choosing an attorney are numerous, consider a few of the more popular choices.
ReplyDeleteKim Hunter @ K Hunter Law
The reason that you need to be working with a skilled DUI lawyer is that they can help you avoid the serious charges coming your way. The judge will evaluate if anyone was injured, if property was damaged, and how many times you have been convicted. The judge can impose fines, take away your license, recommend community service, and even sentence jail time.
ReplyDeleteModesto Culbertson @ D & Z Law Group